Things I Don't Understand - Christmas 2011

Things I Don’t Understand:

Christmas Edition

1.     Elf on the Shelf

Granted, I don’t really understand the concept.  I picked up the general gist from friends who are parents on facebook.  But from what I gather you tell your kids that you have an elf who watches their every move and reports back to Santa on their behavior.   

Oh and did I mention that he or she is in a different location every day?

So to sum up: A creepy transgendered absurdly miniature stranger with a smug smile shows up unbeknownst  in your house somewhere only to move around everyday and spy on you and report your activity back to its superior.   

Something is wrong there…

2.     Figit Friends

One of the most sought after toys in 2011.  

 “dancing so much that they become dizzy, laughing until their sides hurt, and just hanging out and being themselves with their one true best friend.”   

Really?  I’m really going to buy a self aware overweight obsessive stage 5 clinger robot creature that sounds like it has a drinking problem for my daughter?

3.     That one strand of LED lights

You watch your neighbors gleefully drag out all their boxes of outdoor Christmas decorations.  

After 75 trips up and down a ladder and enough staples to assemble a jet plane,

they plug in their recreation of the Griswald house.  

Catastrophe strikes when they come to the startling realization that a

crucially placed strand of lights is out. 

No fear. 

The husband dashes off to Lowe’s to pick up a new strand real quick like.  He returns triumphant and replaces the culprit and claps his hands in a job well done.

One problem, he’s bought “Cool White” and not “Warm White.” 

 

4.     Reindeer Lynching

This needs no explanation

5.     Reindeer Procreating

I’m not making this stuff up